Fanwork 11
Sep. 8th, 2011 07:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sharknastyTitle: N/A
Pairing: Kanaya/Rose (Or Vierge/Ross if you prefer)
Rating: Pretty fucking PG, guys.
Warning: Genderbend, snarky horseshit
A/N: Someone on tumblr was like MAN I WISH THERE WAS FIC FOR THIS so then I crapped this out and I ended up debating what the fuck I should use for Kanaya's new first name because I didn't want to just re-work the lettering because then it would kind of ruin the meaning behind it since Kanaya comes from the Hindi word for 'Virgo', which is 'Kanya'. So I Googled some shit and came out with 'Vierge' which is the French word for virgin and also for 'Virgo' since Virgo is Latin for The Virgin, or something. Isn't language fun? So yeah. There are probably typos, but I don't really care.
tT: As entirely welcome as the romantic attraction of another is, and as flattering as I find it, I must do my duty and inform you that a romance between us would go nowhere, as I am not inclined to those who fit into the same quaint biological niche I do.
gA: As Wonderful As It Is To Hear That You Are Somewhat Okay After Having Spent Several Hours Looking Ponderously Out Towards The Seas Of Your Land
gA: And Also Destroying Ancient Temples
gA: Which Are Probably Not Actually All That Ancient Considering
gA: Im Failing To See What Your Biological Niche Has To Do With Whether Or Not My Feelings For You Are More Than Platonic
'Ah, that is clever', Ross thinks to himself. It's neither a confirmation or denial of the troll's feelings, and it forces him to explain himself further and more plainly.
tT: What I mean to say is that in human culture, the sexual preference in which one has amorous inclinations for one of the same gender is called homosexuality. Seeing as we are both obviously male and you may or may not be attracted to me in a way that could be seen as romantic, I am taking the time out to inform you that I am not a homosexual. Aren't you lucky.
gA: Ah More Of Your Human Sarcasm It Is Clearly Something I Have Never Dealt With Before In Our Numerous Conversations Pertaining To A Wide Range Of Subjects
gA: I Swoon At The Display Of Your All Encompassing Mastery Of Such An Amateur Socializing Tactic
tT: I must rebuff the swoon you have instigated in my direction in favor of pulling out a chaise lounge for you to collapse on. Holding another man would hardly be beneficial to my earlier claims of heterosexuality.
gA: Smug Superior Antics Aside I Am Failing to See How Sorting Ones Preferences To Certain Sexes Is Apparently An Enormous Ordeal In Your Culture As It Seems Rather Pointless To Have A Special Turn Of Phrase For Something So Unimportant
gA: And That Aside Why Is It You Consider Yourself To Be Non Homosexual
gA: My God That Word Is Ridiculous
He's been staring at the screen for more than a reasonable amount time, desperately wanting to blame Vierge for the sudden amount to which he has questioned his own sexuality in the last few minutes. The conversation remains pulled up on the screen of his belt powered holo-computer and the question posed to him by a boy from another universe remains unanswered. The situation would not be such a conundrum if, by the tender age of thirteen, Ross had figured out exactly where he fits on the Kinsey scale (woefully outdated as it is).
It has taken him longer than he would like respond, and when he makes an attempt, there is no prose or wit or sarcasm because it seems to have lost its place in the conversation. Instead, stepping up to the plate is only confusion and awkwardness. He cannot leave the alien on the other side of his holo-screen with his question unanswered; yet answering the question after having left it fluttering and flapping in the void, words searching for a response and finding none, would probably make him out to be clumsy and awkward which is exactly how he doesn't want to appear to the troll. This in turn causes him to board an entirely different train of through that is firmly headed in the direction of why he seems to care so much about whether or not he comes off as awkward to someone whose feelings may not be entirely sincere. The only option is to put on a mask of calm and serenity and pretend as if he hasn't been calling his sexuality into question the entire time.
However, when he returns to the Land of Light and Rain from the Land of Ross' Psychoanalytical Bullshit and Insecurities, he finds that he's missed quite a bit and the window for smug asshole-ish answers has slammed shut, crippling his fingers and quite possibly requiring that he visit an emergency room.
gA: I Can See You You Know
gA: I Know That You Posses A Startling Awareness As To The Fact That I Have A Functioning Viewport And I Suppose That It Is Only Polite Of Me To Express That I Must Leave The Hard And Unforgiving Curvatures Of My Four-Legged Relaxing Apparatus In Order To Attend To The Needs Of One Of My Most Bothersome Friends
gA: It Is Amusingly Enough Centered Around Magic Which I Thought You May Have A Private Moment Of Enjoyment In Spite Of As You Are The Cause Of This Renewed Interest And I Am Now Tasked With Making A Wand For Another Who Fancies Herself Your Suitor
gA: So This Is Mostly For Your Benefit Which You No Doubt Appreciate And Is My Way Of Conveying The Much Needed Information Revealing To You That I Will No Longer Be Watching You And I Am Rather Sure We Have Conversed Enough That You Know I Do Not Posses A Predisposition Towards Lying
grotesqueAncilliator [gA] has ceased trolling theraputicTeuthologist [TT]
If he was as schooled as Strider is in the art of memetic internet propaganda, this may be the time that his mind would recall the imagine of a squinting orange-haired man from some insipid television show; but he isn't, so he doesn't and instead the only thing he can muster up is a feeling of lingering suspicion and the thought that, to the troll, this may just be some manner of courting or an elaborate mind game. As an amateur psychoanalyst, Ross is very much aware of his suspicion, paranoia, and the multiple defense mechanisms he employs when he feels that the subject of his sexuality has come under siege. However, as a 13-year-old boy, he finds it difficult to care too much at the moment as he has probably made himself out to be an enormous tool, more-so than usual.
There it is again. That nagging feeling that he cares what Vierge thinks, as opposed to being apathetic at best and callous at worst. He could spin endless circles around himself, dissecting the meaning of why he is paranoid and smug and irritated when the subject comes up. He could peruse multiple thick volumes of Freudian and Jungian psychological research and results in order to find out what exactly makes him care so much about what his fairy god troll thinks of him. Still, it wouldn't fix anything in the end; he would still be annoyed and irritated and frustrated and paranoid as well as generally malcontent when the topic comes up.
If Maryam's attempt at inquiring into why the subject of sexuality seemed so important to him was meant to set him on edge, then he must applaud the other boy (sarcastically and as irritatingly loud as possible) in what can no doubt be recognized as an overwhelming success. Still, Ross is not below the feeling that, as he has been put through the ringer, it is only fair that he repay the favor, regardless of whether or not Vierge is actually online. He has come off as rather calm, constructed and seems to possess a good deal of common sense whenever Ross has talked to him, and part of him wants to see if he can disturb that.
tT: Perhaps rather than ask why my sexual preference is so important to me, you should be questioning why it matters so much to you.
Pairing: Kanaya/Rose (Or Vierge/Ross if you prefer)
Rating: Pretty fucking PG, guys.
Warning: Genderbend, snarky horseshit
A/N: Someone on tumblr was like MAN I WISH THERE WAS FIC FOR THIS so then I crapped this out and I ended up debating what the fuck I should use for Kanaya's new first name because I didn't want to just re-work the lettering because then it would kind of ruin the meaning behind it since Kanaya comes from the Hindi word for 'Virgo', which is 'Kanya'. So I Googled some shit and came out with 'Vierge' which is the French word for virgin and also for 'Virgo' since Virgo is Latin for The Virgin, or something. Isn't language fun? So yeah. There are probably typos, but I don't really care.
tT: As entirely welcome as the romantic attraction of another is, and as flattering as I find it, I must do my duty and inform you that a romance between us would go nowhere, as I am not inclined to those who fit into the same quaint biological niche I do.
gA: As Wonderful As It Is To Hear That You Are Somewhat Okay After Having Spent Several Hours Looking Ponderously Out Towards The Seas Of Your Land
gA: And Also Destroying Ancient Temples
gA: Which Are Probably Not Actually All That Ancient Considering
gA: Im Failing To See What Your Biological Niche Has To Do With Whether Or Not My Feelings For You Are More Than Platonic
'Ah, that is clever', Ross thinks to himself. It's neither a confirmation or denial of the troll's feelings, and it forces him to explain himself further and more plainly.
tT: What I mean to say is that in human culture, the sexual preference in which one has amorous inclinations for one of the same gender is called homosexuality. Seeing as we are both obviously male and you may or may not be attracted to me in a way that could be seen as romantic, I am taking the time out to inform you that I am not a homosexual. Aren't you lucky.
gA: Ah More Of Your Human Sarcasm It Is Clearly Something I Have Never Dealt With Before In Our Numerous Conversations Pertaining To A Wide Range Of Subjects
gA: I Swoon At The Display Of Your All Encompassing Mastery Of Such An Amateur Socializing Tactic
tT: I must rebuff the swoon you have instigated in my direction in favor of pulling out a chaise lounge for you to collapse on. Holding another man would hardly be beneficial to my earlier claims of heterosexuality.
gA: Smug Superior Antics Aside I Am Failing to See How Sorting Ones Preferences To Certain Sexes Is Apparently An Enormous Ordeal In Your Culture As It Seems Rather Pointless To Have A Special Turn Of Phrase For Something So Unimportant
gA: And That Aside Why Is It You Consider Yourself To Be Non Homosexual
gA: My God That Word Is Ridiculous
He's been staring at the screen for more than a reasonable amount time, desperately wanting to blame Vierge for the sudden amount to which he has questioned his own sexuality in the last few minutes. The conversation remains pulled up on the screen of his belt powered holo-computer and the question posed to him by a boy from another universe remains unanswered. The situation would not be such a conundrum if, by the tender age of thirteen, Ross had figured out exactly where he fits on the Kinsey scale (woefully outdated as it is).
It has taken him longer than he would like respond, and when he makes an attempt, there is no prose or wit or sarcasm because it seems to have lost its place in the conversation. Instead, stepping up to the plate is only confusion and awkwardness. He cannot leave the alien on the other side of his holo-screen with his question unanswered; yet answering the question after having left it fluttering and flapping in the void, words searching for a response and finding none, would probably make him out to be clumsy and awkward which is exactly how he doesn't want to appear to the troll. This in turn causes him to board an entirely different train of through that is firmly headed in the direction of why he seems to care so much about whether or not he comes off as awkward to someone whose feelings may not be entirely sincere. The only option is to put on a mask of calm and serenity and pretend as if he hasn't been calling his sexuality into question the entire time.
However, when he returns to the Land of Light and Rain from the Land of Ross' Psychoanalytical Bullshit and Insecurities, he finds that he's missed quite a bit and the window for smug asshole-ish answers has slammed shut, crippling his fingers and quite possibly requiring that he visit an emergency room.
gA: I Can See You You Know
gA: I Know That You Posses A Startling Awareness As To The Fact That I Have A Functioning Viewport And I Suppose That It Is Only Polite Of Me To Express That I Must Leave The Hard And Unforgiving Curvatures Of My Four-Legged Relaxing Apparatus In Order To Attend To The Needs Of One Of My Most Bothersome Friends
gA: It Is Amusingly Enough Centered Around Magic Which I Thought You May Have A Private Moment Of Enjoyment In Spite Of As You Are The Cause Of This Renewed Interest And I Am Now Tasked With Making A Wand For Another Who Fancies Herself Your Suitor
gA: So This Is Mostly For Your Benefit Which You No Doubt Appreciate And Is My Way Of Conveying The Much Needed Information Revealing To You That I Will No Longer Be Watching You And I Am Rather Sure We Have Conversed Enough That You Know I Do Not Posses A Predisposition Towards Lying
grotesqueAncilliator [gA] has ceased trolling theraputicTeuthologist [TT]
If he was as schooled as Strider is in the art of memetic internet propaganda, this may be the time that his mind would recall the imagine of a squinting orange-haired man from some insipid television show; but he isn't, so he doesn't and instead the only thing he can muster up is a feeling of lingering suspicion and the thought that, to the troll, this may just be some manner of courting or an elaborate mind game. As an amateur psychoanalyst, Ross is very much aware of his suspicion, paranoia, and the multiple defense mechanisms he employs when he feels that the subject of his sexuality has come under siege. However, as a 13-year-old boy, he finds it difficult to care too much at the moment as he has probably made himself out to be an enormous tool, more-so than usual.
There it is again. That nagging feeling that he cares what Vierge thinks, as opposed to being apathetic at best and callous at worst. He could spin endless circles around himself, dissecting the meaning of why he is paranoid and smug and irritated when the subject comes up. He could peruse multiple thick volumes of Freudian and Jungian psychological research and results in order to find out what exactly makes him care so much about what his fairy god troll thinks of him. Still, it wouldn't fix anything in the end; he would still be annoyed and irritated and frustrated and paranoid as well as generally malcontent when the topic comes up.
If Maryam's attempt at inquiring into why the subject of sexuality seemed so important to him was meant to set him on edge, then he must applaud the other boy (sarcastically and as irritatingly loud as possible) in what can no doubt be recognized as an overwhelming success. Still, Ross is not below the feeling that, as he has been put through the ringer, it is only fair that he repay the favor, regardless of whether or not Vierge is actually online. He has come off as rather calm, constructed and seems to possess a good deal of common sense whenever Ross has talked to him, and part of him wants to see if he can disturb that.
tT: Perhaps rather than ask why my sexual preference is so important to me, you should be questioning why it matters so much to you.